Love it all, except for the drink recipe at the end..not all friends have to have “that drink” to be real…
Getting back to the article!! Yes!!! As a high school teacher, Ive watched the shift…and often, they are sitting texting others instead of the ones beside them. Recently, our state made phones not allowed in schools. It’s been the absolute best decision! Although the lunchrooms and halls are noisier, I love it a million times more than seeing kids staring at their screens.
Totally hear you—and respect that! I’ll always toss in a drink at the end for the folks who enjoy the metaphor (and the pour), but the message stands on its own. And YES to phone-free schools. That’s such a powerful change—you’re seeing the shift happen in real time.
As a GenX Momma of a (just turned) 15 year-old Son, I can TOTALLY relate!! Throughout grade and middle school, it was the same as you described... different week/month, different name(s). However, the transformation that has occurred from the end of 8th grade to the end of Freshman year (2024-25) has been 'ginormous' on ALL levels! His "friend group" has remained consistent and has transformed right along with his/their wants, needs, emotions, challenges, etc. They actually 'do stuff' - go bowling, have sleepovers, enjoy playing poker, talk on the phone (albeit while playing video games together!), etc., etc. And while it most definitely makes my heart smile, it also gives me HOPE!! Hope that he has actually listened (while rolling his eyes!) to the 100's (if not 1000's) of times I said, "When I was your age... we didn't have [insert numerous items here!] or we were never indoors in the summer..."
So, yes, as the world and times and ways of communication are evolving and changing, we as parents can help promote some semblance of how things 'used to be' without impeding their desire to grow and change with said times!!
This gave me chills. Thank you for sharing all of that. I love hearing how your son’s friendships are growing with him—and how the old-school “do stuff” energy still has a pulse. You’ve got every reason to feel hopeful, and you’re clearly doing something right.
Thanks again! I’ll comment on this post more later today. He may not know it but soon you’ll be both his dad and his friend. I have a text I put on my watch screen….
Son lessons
Thoughtful and steady...
achieves. - adam
Goals are easy...
if the prep is harder. -nate
Whatever the goal...
you can do one more. - matt
Each one of those statements have a great back story. I learn from them, they learn from me. I try to lead by example. I end every goodbye with “love you lots”. “Love you too dad” they reply as they head out the door or hang up. I guess what I’m saying is we don’t have control of the depth of their relationships but we have the opportunity to show them every day. He’ll remember in his time. You’ll be blessed if you get to see it. Hang in there. He hasn’t lived enough to know its value. He is still learning independence.
Andy, this is incredible. That watch screen text is going to stick with me—what a beautiful way to anchor your day. And you’re right: we don’t always get to shape the depth of their connections, but we can model how to love out loud. You’re doing it right.
So I mentioned the back stories re: my watch face screen.
Goals are easy if the prep is harder-Nate
During his senior year in high school Nate told me his Spanish 4 classmates asked him why he took the course. It was really difficult and he had no plans to use it post high school.
So I ask “Why did you?”
Nate replied, “I figured if my senior year was really hard college would seem easier”
My jaw hit the floor. My previous 18 years of parenting affirmed in 13 words of wisdom. A humbling experience believe you me.
I think about this too. How can relationships be real today? It is as if they text constantly without saying anything. But then, I see my daughters playing cards every day at the beach. I see them going to the river with friends. I see them supporting a friend after a breakup or the death of a parent. I wonder how they will find someone honest, who actually knows how to communicate. This is important. I know family is important to them. Of course, I cannot know. Did we teach them how to have relationships? Did we teach them how to have relationships in 2025? Could we when our relationship school is from the 70's, 80's, and 90's, imperfect (mine really imperfect), but real. I mean, my parents fought badly, but it was their words and not ChatGPT's.). Everything starts in the home. I do believe that we did teach our daughters values that are necessary if they truly want friendship and family. They may stray, follow the wave a bit, but I trust that the base we have offered will help them form relationships that are real and lasting. It may be more challenging to find the right people, but the right people have a way of finding one another. I suppose what I am saying is this. As long as we continue to cultivate values - the value of deep relationships and connection - at home, our kids will be okay. At least, this is what I hope. xo
You said it perfectly. It’s harder now, but not impossible—and I agree, it all starts at home. Values still matter. Consistency still matters. And if we keep showing up, they’ll feel it. Thank you for this—it reads like a quiet rally cry for every parent trying to raise emotionally fluent humans in a Wi-Fi world.
I love what you've said about replacing connection with contact. That is so on the button, I completely agree.
That means a lot—thank you. I think we’ve all felt that shift lately… more scrolling, less soul. Trying to hold the line on connection over contact.
Love it all, except for the drink recipe at the end..not all friends have to have “that drink” to be real…
Getting back to the article!! Yes!!! As a high school teacher, Ive watched the shift…and often, they are sitting texting others instead of the ones beside them. Recently, our state made phones not allowed in schools. It’s been the absolute best decision! Although the lunchrooms and halls are noisier, I love it a million times more than seeing kids staring at their screens.
Totally hear you—and respect that! I’ll always toss in a drink at the end for the folks who enjoy the metaphor (and the pour), but the message stands on its own. And YES to phone-free schools. That’s such a powerful change—you’re seeing the shift happen in real time.
As a GenX Momma of a (just turned) 15 year-old Son, I can TOTALLY relate!! Throughout grade and middle school, it was the same as you described... different week/month, different name(s). However, the transformation that has occurred from the end of 8th grade to the end of Freshman year (2024-25) has been 'ginormous' on ALL levels! His "friend group" has remained consistent and has transformed right along with his/their wants, needs, emotions, challenges, etc. They actually 'do stuff' - go bowling, have sleepovers, enjoy playing poker, talk on the phone (albeit while playing video games together!), etc., etc. And while it most definitely makes my heart smile, it also gives me HOPE!! Hope that he has actually listened (while rolling his eyes!) to the 100's (if not 1000's) of times I said, "When I was your age... we didn't have [insert numerous items here!] or we were never indoors in the summer..."
So, yes, as the world and times and ways of communication are evolving and changing, we as parents can help promote some semblance of how things 'used to be' without impeding their desire to grow and change with said times!!
Thank you for sharing!! 🤗
This gave me chills. Thank you for sharing all of that. I love hearing how your son’s friendships are growing with him—and how the old-school “do stuff” energy still has a pulse. You’ve got every reason to feel hopeful, and you’re clearly doing something right.
🤍
Thanks again! I’ll comment on this post more later today. He may not know it but soon you’ll be both his dad and his friend. I have a text I put on my watch screen….
Son lessons
Thoughtful and steady...
achieves. - adam
Goals are easy...
if the prep is harder. -nate
Whatever the goal...
you can do one more. - matt
Each one of those statements have a great back story. I learn from them, they learn from me. I try to lead by example. I end every goodbye with “love you lots”. “Love you too dad” they reply as they head out the door or hang up. I guess what I’m saying is we don’t have control of the depth of their relationships but we have the opportunity to show them every day. He’ll remember in his time. You’ll be blessed if you get to see it. Hang in there. He hasn’t lived enough to know its value. He is still learning independence.
Andy, this is incredible. That watch screen text is going to stick with me—what a beautiful way to anchor your day. And you’re right: we don’t always get to shape the depth of their connections, but we can model how to love out loud. You’re doing it right.
So I mentioned the back stories re: my watch face screen.
Goals are easy if the prep is harder-Nate
During his senior year in high school Nate told me his Spanish 4 classmates asked him why he took the course. It was really difficult and he had no plans to use it post high school.
So I ask “Why did you?”
Nate replied, “I figured if my senior year was really hard college would seem easier”
My jaw hit the floor. My previous 18 years of parenting affirmed in 13 words of wisdom. A humbling experience believe you me.
I think about this too. How can relationships be real today? It is as if they text constantly without saying anything. But then, I see my daughters playing cards every day at the beach. I see them going to the river with friends. I see them supporting a friend after a breakup or the death of a parent. I wonder how they will find someone honest, who actually knows how to communicate. This is important. I know family is important to them. Of course, I cannot know. Did we teach them how to have relationships? Did we teach them how to have relationships in 2025? Could we when our relationship school is from the 70's, 80's, and 90's, imperfect (mine really imperfect), but real. I mean, my parents fought badly, but it was their words and not ChatGPT's.). Everything starts in the home. I do believe that we did teach our daughters values that are necessary if they truly want friendship and family. They may stray, follow the wave a bit, but I trust that the base we have offered will help them form relationships that are real and lasting. It may be more challenging to find the right people, but the right people have a way of finding one another. I suppose what I am saying is this. As long as we continue to cultivate values - the value of deep relationships and connection - at home, our kids will be okay. At least, this is what I hope. xo
You said it perfectly. It’s harder now, but not impossible—and I agree, it all starts at home. Values still matter. Consistency still matters. And if we keep showing up, they’ll feel it. Thank you for this—it reads like a quiet rally cry for every parent trying to raise emotionally fluent humans in a Wi-Fi world.
Yes, let's rally! Family and core values mommas and daddies. 💪🙌🫶
You may like this one, if you get to it - https://dannilevy.substack.com/p/oh-those-summer-times?r=3g3t74 xoxo