Really appreciated this post. As a self-employed person juggling multiple clients and ventures it often feels like the work never ends. I can especially relate to the conflicting pressures of wanting to provide for your kids while also wanting to spend time with them, and the way that those two things often feel in tension. Too often, it feels like there are not enough hours in the day for either work or family, let alone both.
Your article reminded me again for the 1000000000000000th time that while we’re very rarely going to actually get it “right” (whatever that means on any given day), the most important thing is that we keep showing up and trying.
Matthew, thank you. You nailed it — that constant tug-of-war between providing and being present is the core tension of it all. We’ll never “perfect” it, but showing up (even messy) is the real win. Appreciate you being in the trenches with me.
You know that rare moment when you read something and feel like someone just opened your own journal?
This is that.
Every word, from the Cheerios-in-the-laptop to the “Daddy, no work today”, feels like it was pulled straight from my evenings.
Sometimes I feel we’re the generation of dads trying to break a cycle while building a career, and I started this project exactly to have a daily reminder that presence doesn’t scale... but it's the only metric that matters when they look back.
I am still finding my voice, refining my message, structuring my thinking, but yeah, reading your experience helps me a lot... even just to remind me I’m not the only one figuring this out in real time.
Wow. You just described exactly why I wrote it. We’re all stumbling forward, trying to measure love in presence instead of productivity. Grateful to hear it resonated so deeply — we’re definitely not alone in this wild experiment.
Mom-ing is a challenge too, especially when the aged toddler now says, "Before you sit down, Let's take a walk." I wish I could have gotten to know my dad better. So many issues, but we were on the wavelength, until he died at 49. Beautiful post.
Charlotte, this hit me hard. “Aged toddler” is such a perfect phrase. I’m so sorry for your loss, but honored my words could bring that memory forward. Here’s to all the walks we take — even if they come too late.
Really appreciated this post. As a self-employed person juggling multiple clients and ventures it often feels like the work never ends. I can especially relate to the conflicting pressures of wanting to provide for your kids while also wanting to spend time with them, and the way that those two things often feel in tension. Too often, it feels like there are not enough hours in the day for either work or family, let alone both.
Your article reminded me again for the 1000000000000000th time that while we’re very rarely going to actually get it “right” (whatever that means on any given day), the most important thing is that we keep showing up and trying.
Matthew, thank you. You nailed it — that constant tug-of-war between providing and being present is the core tension of it all. We’ll never “perfect” it, but showing up (even messy) is the real win. Appreciate you being in the trenches with me.
You know that rare moment when you read something and feel like someone just opened your own journal?
This is that.
Every word, from the Cheerios-in-the-laptop to the “Daddy, no work today”, feels like it was pulled straight from my evenings.
Sometimes I feel we’re the generation of dads trying to break a cycle while building a career, and I started this project exactly to have a daily reminder that presence doesn’t scale... but it's the only metric that matters when they look back.
I am still finding my voice, refining my message, structuring my thinking, but yeah, reading your experience helps me a lot... even just to remind me I’m not the only one figuring this out in real time.
Wow. You just described exactly why I wrote it. We’re all stumbling forward, trying to measure love in presence instead of productivity. Grateful to hear it resonated so deeply — we’re definitely not alone in this wild experiment.
Mom-ing is a challenge too, especially when the aged toddler now says, "Before you sit down, Let's take a walk." I wish I could have gotten to know my dad better. So many issues, but we were on the wavelength, until he died at 49. Beautiful post.
Charlotte, this hit me hard. “Aged toddler” is such a perfect phrase. I’m so sorry for your loss, but honored my words could bring that memory forward. Here’s to all the walks we take — even if they come too late.